Jesse Lee Williams

       It's been four years since we had to say goodbye to you.Sometimes is seems longer then that.
I can think of you and smile about how much fun you were as a child and also as a young man.I think your little girl has alot of your charm.I must say when I think of you mostly though I have this ache in my heart.That is just reminding me of how much you are loved and missed Jesse Lee.

Jesse,
I hold onto all of the best memories you left for me:
When you were little when you really wanted me to listen you would take one hand on each side of my face and hold your nose to mine and you would wisper what you had to say.  Sometimes we ended up laughing so hard you couldn't even remeber what you wanted to say.

I can hardly walk near a shoe department with thinking how much you loved shoes, sneakers and flip flops.

The cereal section of the supermarket is still a tough one for me you loved every cereal that had tons of sugar.

I remember the twinkle in your eyes the hugs that you gave so freely and always when the phone rings I remember your voice. 

Things have changed since you earned your wings but the love and passion you had remain.

Missing you Jesse Lee
Love your
Momma

Jesse we all live on borrowed time and none of us know how many heart beats we are given.
The fact that you were given fewer than many broke my heart.
If I could have given you some of mine I would have. 

Help me to use whatever heart beats I have left  to bring good to those around me.

Jesse,

Well it's four years ago today that you and Amaya left for Mom & Dan's .  I was working because it was a Thursday and I had to work until 8:30 pm.  I think you called me about four different times because you either forgot something at our house and had to go back or else you just had a hard time leaving even though you couldn't wait to see your Mom.  Gramp said you were so excited packing the car . He often wondered how fast you were travelling, but he knew you would be extra careful having Amaya with you.  You had called me a few days later when you and Amaya were going to the movies  You were so excited telling me about the new job you got and also about the restaurant.  You just loved being home again with Mom.  You always knew how you could count on her and how much she loved you. I do want you to know how hard these last four years have been for Mom and I know they will never get better. She misses you so much and keeps asking herself if she could have done anything different.  God wanted a special Angel and he sure got one, but wish it didn't have to be you.  Our whole family will never be the same without you Jess.  You are loved and thought about each and every day.

Today is four years ago that you and Amaya came back to NY.  What big plans we all had.  You had accomplished so much in the few remaining weeks in your life.  You were working two jobs by the time you left NY on April 2.  You were so full of hope and we all knew this was the time you were going to shine.  Little did we know that morning of April 2nd would be the last time we would see you alive and later that night it would be our final I love you.

Missing you always but Jesse this time of year is especially hard for me.  The what if's set in and the fact that Mom's should protect their children always.  I know you were an adult but you were and always will be my little boy.

I hope you do something awsome for Aunt Chris's birthday and send us all messages that yes you still watch over all of us and are here with us in spirit.

Oh this time of year is bitter sweet. . . . Although it means soon Spring will arrive it also means another year has passed since we had to release you back to your maker.
In the celebration of all things coming alive there is a shadow of losing you.
I miss you every day and try to continue to celebrate the intense love you had for your family.  Until we meet again Jesse my heart will continue to beat with that skip that acknowledges that I will never be the same without you.